It is now the eighth week of my imprisonment. However, it feels a lot longer. This is because I feel it on a 24 / 7 basis. Every moment of waking thought is a torture; the only relief is the hours that I can remain asleep. Such a life is soul destroying. It saps the will to live out of me. I am so unhappy here.
There is nothing to do. I do not overtly complain; I have learned that there is no point and can be counter productive as it is used again you. When I am asked how I am I reply ‘bored’ and the suggestion is that I take part in the activities on the ward. Those ‘activities’ comprise of watching trash TV; having cups of tea made in a filthy kitchen (caused by the other prisoners); or, for others, having a smoke. There is very little else to do. I do have some books to read, but I have lost motivation to read. My access to the internet is limited to late afternoons or evenings. I hate to lay in bed all day, but that is all I have open to me. This is why time passes so slowly.
The medical ‘treatment’ that I get is a fortnightly injection of some anti-psychotic drug. That is it. Once a week in the ward round there may be a few questions, but nothing meaningful. This is evidence that I am held here as a punishment for my blogs and not for any medical reasons.
Just often and for how long I will be able to blog I don’t know. I expect that as soon as they spot that I have made a post I shall be banned from using the internet again.
Why can’t they actually talk to me properly? They will find out that all I want to do is write my little computer programs that analyse financial data, write reports on the results, and publish them on a subscription basis from my website.
As I keep saying: All I wanted to do was to have earned a living in peace.
Update: I have been told that my internet surfing has to be restricted now.
Update: I have been told that my internet surfing has to be restricted now.
They can't speak to you properly because they know that they should not have you there. If one asks you, "How are you today?", you can reply, "You are a party to abducting me and assaulting me with your drugs. You ask me how I am so that you can try to keep up a pretense. Do not speak to me again."
ReplyDeleteAvoid the drugs if you can. It's difficult since it's injected. It's probably Risperidone. If you can, grab it and inject it into the person who prepared it.
Otherwise try to stay fit, eat as much as you can. Look for any opportunity to screw the staff over, involve other "patients" if possible. Tell the staff that you will look for any opportunity to sabotage their workplace. Make sure they record this in your record. Or else write a declaration of war and insist that it be placed in your records. Then they can't pretend you've suddenly "deteriorated".
Don't ever be fooled by any staff that appear to be sympathetic and understand your situation. These people are trash, every single person, except maybe... just maybe the occasional casual worker. But they have no influence so don't confide in anybody working there thinking it will help your situation.
Try to tell a lawyer that you are being assaulted by way of implicit threat, improper detention and by way of their tranks.
Look for a way out, maybe through the ceiling. If you can get out do it just before you are due for an injection. You may now have a bit of money saved and be able to figure out someone you could shack up with for a while. They don't always come after you straight away. Sometimes they fill the bed and they leave you alone. You could even get back to your flat, just make sure you can barricade it or provide a quick exit for yourself. They can get sick of chasing you after a while and you can taunt them and threaten them with legal action.
If suggesting that you escape sounds extreme think again. To lock you up and drug you is absolutely outrageous. I say it's criminal, they say it's not. I say I'm right. You have a moral right to do whatever it takes to protect yourself from continuing assault.
You've been found by Sabine McNeill. She's switched on and very active.
ReplyDelete