It is time I restarted blogging.

It is now the eighth week of my imprisonment. However, it feels a lot longer. This is because I feel it on a 24 / 7 basis. Every moment of waking thought is a torture; the only relief is the hours that I can remain asleep. Such a life is soul destroying. It saps the will to live out of me. I am so unhappy here.

There is nothing to do. I do not overtly complain; I have learned that there is no point and can be counter productive as it is used again you. When I am asked how I am I reply ‘bored’ and the suggestion is that I take part in the activities on the ward. Those ‘activities’ comprise of watching trash TV; having cups of tea made in a filthy kitchen (caused by the other prisoners); or, for others, having a smoke. There is very little else to do. I do have some books to read, but I have lost motivation to read. My access to the internet is limited to late afternoons or evenings. I hate to lay in bed all day, but that is all I have open to me. This is why time passes so slowly.

The medical ‘treatment’ that I get is a fortnightly injection of some anti-psychotic drug. That is it. Once a week in the ward round there may be a few questions, but nothing meaningful. This is evidence that I am held here as a punishment for my blogs and not for any medical reasons.

Just often and for how long I will be able to blog I don’t know. I expect that as soon as they spot that I have made a post I shall be banned from using the internet again.

Why can’t they actually talk to me properly? They will find out that all I want to do is write my little computer programs that analyse financial data, write reports on the results, and publish them on a subscription basis from my website. 

As I keep saying: All I wanted to do was to have earned a living in peace.

Update: I have been told that my internet surfing has to be restricted now.

Back as a prisoner at Mile End Hospital

So, here I am held prisoner on Globe ward of Mile End hospital once again. The last time I was here was two years ago because I was abducted on orders from the FTAC for protesting about having my livelihood stolen from me by the then Labour government. This time the reason is to silence me from making comments about East London NHS Foundation Trust on these blogs of mine.

I have only just managed to get access to the internet again (more of that later) and have refrained from making any posts for fear of being banished from having any access whatsoever. However, since they are not listing to me, I feel that I should use this medium to express my frustrations as to what is happening to me.

For a start here is a brief summary of what has happened so far. I was abducted on 2 November and held on Globe ward of Mile End hospital. After two days I was transferred to the intensive care ward for an incident described below. Within 24 hours I was further transferred to Beven ward Homerton Hospital which is also an intensive care ward. There I was left for nearly a month.

There is one good thing: I got to shout abuse at ‘doctor’ Jonsson. Thursdays are his ward round day. I sat in the common area waiting for his arrival. When he showed up I began to should, “Jonsson, you corrupt, incompetent liar. How many lives are you going to fuck up today?” And so on. It obviously got to him because by the end of the day I was transferred to the intensive care ward next door and subsequently to the other hospital. It was worth it. I derived great pleasure being able to shout and swear at him. Now that I am back on Globe ward I’ll have further opportunities to abuse him. I shall have to be more creative.

The end has come.

I have just had a visit from Dr Bass and a social worker. The police are outside my door. Dr Bass has just gone off to get a warrant to have me removed from my home and imprison me in Mile End Hospital again. This will very probably be my last ever post.

I will immediately appeal, but I do not have any access to legal representation as I am blacklisted from all solicitors because this case involves the FTAC.

I will never talk to them no matter how much they torture me. I will have no option that to end my own life. I shall do it on their premises not mine.

All I ever wanted to do was to have earned a living in peace.

The time is gone, the song is over

Tomorrow (Monday 25 October), I have been invited to a meeting with a Dr Nick Bass at Mile End Hospital. Obviously, I will not go; I will never voluntary enter any NHS premises or talk to any of their staff ever again. Even if I am forcibly detailed, it doesn’t matter how long they hold me prisoner or how much they torture me again, I will never ‘talk’ to them.

Just what Dr Bass expects me to ‘talk’ about escapes me. My experiences of the NHS have shown them to be totally corrupt liars. They will never admit to what they have done. On my part I will never accept all the things that I have done in life and what has been done to me are figments of my imagination; I have so much independent documentary evidence that supports my position.

To lose everything one has worked for over many years is devastating enough. Having this done to you by your own government is truly sickening. However, this is nothing to the pain of being told that your whole life never happened. I was told that everything I ever did or experienced was a delusion (despite having proof). At one of the tribunals, ‘doctor’ Jonsson even claimed that I held a belief that it is impossible for me to hold as it is inconstant with everything that I actually do believe in.

The time for ‘talking’ was over many years ago; long before I was abducted from my home by the police.

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The week before last was one of my darkest yet. On the Thursday I spent most of the day in bed. It became clear to me then that I have now entered the final down phase. If it was not for my vow, I would have just ended everything there and then. Since then my mood has lifted slightly, but I know that the end is drawing near. I suffer from all the classic indicators of depression such as not being able to do anything, sleep properly, or care for myself.

I wish I understood why this has been done to me. In the beginning I was just collateral damage, just one among tens of thousands, of a corrupt and incompetent government and public sector. However, now it is clear that I am an explicit target. I am forbidden to ever recover from the injuries that have been inflicted upon me. I have been branded as insane, a criminal, and even a terrorist. In truth, all I want to do is to earn a living.

So much damage has been done. There is no way that it could ever be repaired. The life I live now disgusts me; not only the material deprivation, constrained intellectual stimulation and frustrated ambitions, but especially the dependence on welfare that offends my libertarian beliefs. However, this squalid existence is under threat. Everyday I learn of further plans to drive me into deeper poverty as those benefits are falling in real terms, and I expect them to be withdrawn altogether any day. I live in fear of the postman. Each letter could be a bill that I will have serious problems paying (i.e. gas and electricity) or it will be notice that my benefits will stop. I cannot go on like this.

One of my few remaining pleasures is to be able to listen to a radio station from the Cayman Islands over the internet. Earlier they played ‘Time’ from Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. The last few lines seem appropriate:

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

More evidence that supports me

Yesterday, the Financial Times has a couple of items about the economic implications of immigration (Migrants give boost to public finances [subscription required]). It makes for interesting reading. The main proposition is that immigration is broadly good for the economy.

However, drilling down into the report exposes several caveats. For a start, it only considers those immigrants that are here to work. It also correctly reports the downward pressure on wages that it has had at the bottom end. I leave it to others to argue the validity of the report.

The article concludes with one point that is particularly relevant to my case.

And there is evidence of at least one industry where foreign arrivals are taking the jobs of skilled local workers: the IT sector. British contractors have bemoaned the fact that Indian technology companies appear to be getting around immigration rules by using so-called intra-company transfers to bring in staff who undercut them on price.

“There is an argument, and quite a convincing one, that these Indian workers are displacing local people,” a government adviser said.

When ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson was arranging for me to be held prisoner under Section III of the mental health act he arranged for to collaborators, another doctor and a social worker, to agree with his claims. In the short interview I stated the complaint made in the quote above and was told it was not true. Nobody else was making that claim; it was just me. Furthermore, it wasn’t true.

Here is clear evidence that my claim is not unique and a ‘government adviser’ shows that my objection is warranted. Any proper investigation at the time of my imprisonment could have easily established that. This shows that my sectioning and my imprisonment were based on a falsehood.

Furthermore, I believe that political bias made an influence in the handling of my case. The public sector and particularly the NHS are saturated with Labour supporters. I think that the Labour government was the most corrupt and incompetent that Britain has ever seen. For being critical of Labour, I suffered severely.

Whenever I challenged any of the staff about being Labour supporters, their response was always, “You don’t know that. [I am]/[I could be] a Green Party supporter.” The consistency of the responses makes me think that they have been trained to say that. The Green Party is an interesting choice of alternative; that party are left-wing extremists. Although in most peoples minds anything ‘Green’ is supposed so have a positive, caring image; part of lie I suppose.

Once again the evidence supports me and shows ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson, Dr Robert Dolan, and the whole of East London NHS Foundation Trust wrong. Their diagnosis was a fraud and my imprisonment was politically motivated.

Faced with even more evidence will they admit their crime: no chance! I have no future no matter how much the evidence proves my case. It is up to me to achieve redress though my own means.

The hydrogen sulphide suicide method

There has been another suicide in the UK using the hydrogen sulphide method. The details of how it can be done are all over the internet; it is very simple. I will not repeat them here otherwise it will give the police an excuse to give me a kicking again. The chemistry involved is very basic. It is ‘O’ or GCSE level. Just dump a load of, say, calcium sulphide into a strong acid, breath deep, and good night.

Several times, I have tried overdosing with cocktails of medication, or pain killers with strong alcohol. All that happens is that my body just throws it out or shrugs it off. Too much abuse of alcohol and dodgy food in my younger days made me too tolerant I suppose. I have been toying with the Carbon Monoxide method using the barbecue briquettes. Maybe this latest technique from Japan may be the way to go.

The downside to this is that it is still a method for the individual. However, the latest UK cases have been in pairs as part of a pact. I have vowed to not die alone; I shall have to see if I can find a way of adapting the method to be more general.

Update 05/10/10 15:00 I've just had a call from Mile End Hospital saying that an appointment has been made for me to see some doctor (I don't bother to listen to find out who). I politely told the lady, “Can you tell the doctor to shove it”. At which point she said thank you and promptly hung up.

I suppose I’m in for the 2am knock again; followed by the abduction visit.

Special message for NHS types (IP Address: 82.45.148.218) – I am never going to ‘talk’ to you no matter how long you hold me prisoner or torture me.

Incompetent Police strike again

It will come as a surprise to few that those poor road sweepers arrested for being part of a plot to kill the Pope have been released without charge. Reports suggest that the whole case was based on overheard staff room banter about the efficiency of the ‘Popemobile’. It was solely a police operation as the security services knew nothing about it.

At huge expense to the taxpayer, the police chose to undertake a massive attack on completely innocent people. One can only wonder how close people came to being killed by the police again. It is not like this is an isolated incident; the police do this all the time.

What is very telling is that the poor men have been released so soon. Given that they were not British citizens the police could have got away with holding them for ages while they fabricated a case to cover up their mistakes. There must be some excellent evidence to show how much of a cock up the police have made.

My own experience of the police has shown me that the police at every level that I have met are incredibly stupid. We all know how violent and conspiratorial these liars are. The popular media image of highly intelligent and honest coppers is a totally fantasy.

The police are constantly stating that there is a huge threat from terrorists. I am not a terrorist (although branded as one), but I know how easy it would be to conceal a plot from the police. The fact that there are few terrorist incidents is nothing to do with the quality of security services and the police; it is because there are very few terrorists. It is all another big lie.

At the root of all this is personal greed. The previous government was hugely paranoid which was only eclipsed by its wiliness to spend other people’s money. The police managed to get their payrolls expanded by nearly a third by exploiting them. The FTAC was created by Dr David James specifically to fuel this paranoia. Recently the police claimed that spending cuts would be ‘Christmas for criminals’ and would bring civil unrest. This is purely self-service hyperbole. If the police have to resort to such emotive terms then it clearly shows just how weak their case is for continued excessive spending.

It could be argued that the arrest of the road sweepers was no more than a publicity stunt in their campaign against cuts; I believe it was overreacting stupidity. The on-going damage to these poor men’s lives will never be investigated. They will be made to suffer as the result of police stupidity or greed.

Thank you everyone for keeping me

Whenever I try to make a point on other blogs and forums (sp?), I always get some wit who things it is funny and original to say something involving tin foil hats and medication. Their opinion is shared by the overwhelming majority of the population. Although this means that there is no chance of me ever getting my life back, there is one area where it acts in my favour.

While everyone believes that I am insane there is no way that my entitlement to benefits can be successfully challenged. I am likely to remain on benefits until the day I die. The tax payer has got to keep me. I am in my early fifties now; if I don’t kill myself, or the government doesn’t do it then I could be a drain on the earnings of other for other two or more decades.

I have always lived in fear of having my benefits taken from me. It used to keep me awake at night and whenever the postman delivered any letters I used to have a mini-panic attack because I feared that it may be the start in the process of having my benefit stopped. However, the chances of this happening are close to zero.

In the simplest case, since everyone thinks that I am mad they will not seek to change the status and my benefits remain as they are. If someone thinks that I need to be seen by a doctor again they I simply repeat that I have been held under section III of the mental health act and I was diagnosed as suffering from persistent delusional personality disorder by ‘doctor’ Jonsson. If they asked what the delusions are, I say “I don’t know, they wouldn’t tell me and they wouldn’t tell me why I can’t know” That should convince them that I am a mad and my benefits are secure.

If they then decide that I am fine then I am on to a winner too. How am I not mad now when I was before? I still believe exactly what I did before. I have not had any medical treatment. How did the miracle happen that cured my madness? If I am not mad now then I could not be mad before and so I have evidence in a case of medical malpractice against ‘doctor’ Jonsson and East London NHS. This would also mean that my claim that I was a political prisoner would be proved too. I would be in line for some serious compensation.

Despite what people believe, living on benefits is horrid. I hate it. I feel ashamed and dirty having to rely on it. I would far rather work. That is all I have ever wanted to do. That is what my whole campaign has been about: being allowed to work. However, the Labour government had other ideas and the current one sees fit that those policies shall remain.

So thank you everyone. I know that in these difficult financial times you may be finding life hard. I do appreciate you keeping me while am forced to be idle.

Is Dr Robert Dolan putting his pension ahead of his duties and the truth?

Moved from FTAC Watch

Last week Ian Cowie in the Telegraph postulated that it may have been the fear of loss of his pension that may have been behind the ‘suicide’ of Dr David Kelly. I am wondering if it is a similar fear of a loss of pension that may be behind the reluctance of Dr Robert Dolan to answer the questions I posed to him about my imprisonment.

To recap, I was held prisoner at Mile End Hospital by ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson on orders from the Fixated Threat Assessment Centre (FTAC) who themselves were acting on instruction from the Labour government. The diagnosis that ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson made was that I suffer from ‘Persistent Delusional Personality Disorder’. I believe that this is a malicious falsehood.

I have repeatedly asked everyone up to and including the chairman of East London NHS Foundation Trust, Dr Robert Dolan a simple question: For each of supposed delusional beliefs, a) what specifically is that belief, b) what is the proof that do actually hold that belief, and c) proof that the belief is a delusion. I do not think that it is unreasonable. The trust claim to use evidence based diagnosis; so what is their evidence? However, doctors Jonsson, Dolan and everyone else in the trust refuse to answer the question.

The reason why they will not answer the question is that there are no delusions. As I said, it is a malicious falsehood; I was subject to unlawful imprisonment and physical assault. If they answer then it will be shown for what it is and it will led the trust and its personal open to disciplinary proceedings, doctors being struck off, and maybe criminal prosecutions.

If ever I do get a chance to get justice, ‘doctor’ Jonsson will definitely end up in prison. However, Dr Robert Dolan has publically backed Jonsson and as a result is in very grave danger of sharing his fate to some extent. His is very likely to lose his job. With it will inevitably be the loss of his pension.

Could it be that Dr Robert Dolan would put his pension ahead of the truth and his duties? It is a possibly an explanation as to his despicable behaviour.

As always: All I ever wanted to do was to have earned a living in peace.

The economics of the madhouse

Moved from FTAC Watch

On Guido’s blog he has a post about deficit deniers. He finishes his post with the phrase “the economics of the madhouse” Well; I have an anecdote about that. I have said this several times, but I think I would like to repeat it again.

My background is in the development of analytical and trading systems in the financial sector. (However, ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson has decreed that this is all a delusion.) Although I have no expectations of ever working again, it is a subject that I maintain a keen interest in.

I was abducted from my home in November, 2008 while the economic crisis was in full flow. Whilst detained I was denied all access to any serious news sources. All I was offered was random copies of the Metro free newspaper that any members of staff may have picked up on their way to work. I repeatedly asked of a copy of the Financial Times so I could see what was happening. After a few weeks they let me have a copy and I discovered how far things had developed.

The ‘named nurse’ by her own admission had no interest in finance and was more interested in Madonna’s divorce than any thing else in the news. I foolishly pointed out this nurse that when I was free it was a one level and how far it had moved.

At my first tribunal at the end of my first month of imprisonment I was astonished to hear ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson state to the members that I believed I was in control of the global economy. This is as far from my actual belief as it is possible to get. Not only do I not believe that I am in control, I believe the nature of the system is that it cannot be controlled in any significant way and that attempts to do so will destabilise the whole thing.

In her testimony the nurse claimed I was obsessed with the charts that showed a decline. Yes, I looked at the charts a lot: that is how time-series data is presented. The very nature of the crisis was that every asset class was declining with the exception of US Treasuries. That was the important thing.

None of them had ever asked me anything about what I believed, the nature of the subject, my interests, or my interpretation. They just used it to fabricate a malicious fiction to justify their imprisonment of me.

Later in one of the last ward rounds I attended (I refused to go because they were a farce; full of lies of ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson who was closed to any evidence), ‘doctor’ Ferdinand Jonsson was showing off to his crowd and asked me about my thoughts on the economy. I said, “Technically speaking, you’re fucked.” There was a few laughs and Jonsson invited me to expand on my remark and how I would fix it. I said that there had been gross over spending and the debt was unsustainable. There would have to be massive cuts in public spending. At which point he cut me off and smiled at his audience.

At the end of ward round he offered me medication which I turned down. He said it would help me with my ‘peculiar’ beliefs about the economy. Its strange how things have turned out isn’t it.

Despite Jonsson having been shown to be wrong so many times, East London NHS Foundation Trust led by Dr Robert Dolan still stand by his diagnosis. However, they have never formally told me what my delusions are. Despite me repeatedly requesting answers, they refuse to answer the simple question of a) what are the supposedly delusional beliefs that I hold, b) what evidence do they have that I hold such a belief, c) proof that the belief is actually a delusion. That refusal clearly shows that there is no basis for the diagnosis, it is a malicious falsehood, and I was unlawfully imprisoned.

As always: All I ever wanted to do was to have earned a living in peace.

Time to move on

Since my quest for justice has failed it is time to move on to a quest for vengeance.

I had my life totally destroyed by the former Labour government. They stole my livelihood, made me bankrupt and homeless, and denied me the care and assistance that is supposedly available. My pleas for assistance to my MP and government departments were ignore. In response to my persistence in pursuing my case, I became the subject of the Fixated Threat Assessment Centre (FTAC) who instructed the police to abduct me from my home and the East London NHS trust to fabricate reasons for my detention.

I have been denied access to proper medical care, legal representation, parliamentary representation, and social care. All things that are assumed to be normally available, or even mandated as part of the European Convention on Human Right that the UK is a signatory.

Through my previous blog (FTAC Watch), I sought justice for the abuse I have suffered. I have failed to achieve those aims. It is time to move on.

I have lost everything and there is no prospect of any improvement. In fact, the announcements of benefit cuts mean that my life is about to get a whole lot worse very soon. So I have nothing left to lose. I will soon end up dead either through my own hand, environmental factors cause by malnutrition or exposure, or the result of being killed by the police.

So for the short remainder of my life I will concentrate on vengeance.

I had thought about going the same route as other and use violence. The Americans have a term for it: ‘Going Postal’. However, I have given it a lot of thought and I think I can do a lot better through more subtle means.

This blog will be the central reference point. However, most of the activity will never be attributable to me.

Let the dance begin.